OBL Wondered What Happened
The Imam surveyed his terrain, pleased. The wives were helping children with their studies, or tucking in the infants. Soon, his favorite would be coming into his bedchambers. She was his latest acquisition - so talented under the covers, a true gift from Allah. He sat back in a meditative state, and began reciting his evening prayers.
“Do your justice to mine enemies, Oh great one, as you will.”
“Smite down the great Satan and all of their followers”
“Remove the source of evil from our planet”
“Bless my family and I as you see fit, oh Allah.”
The Imam opened his eyes, and sat meditating in the quiet of the evening, listening to the murmurs of his household preparing for bed. They all knew what to do – he had trained them well. Discipline was important, and apparently they had learned their harsh but necessary lessons. Spare the hand and fist, and lose the household. Not this Imam.
His ruminations were interrupted by the appearance of his latest wife, dressed scantily but with a silk veil. She undulated and sang as she moved over to him.
“Allah be praised! You are so beautiful, it melts my heart. I do not deserve such good fortune.”
She just put her finger to her lips, and moved over to where he sat on the bed. She sidled up to him, running her hands over his tunic, and then under it. He responded, and soon they were removing each others garments.
Suddenly they heard the whup-whup-whup of helicopter blades. The Pakistani army did overflights, so this was not so unusual. They resumed their vigorous foreplay. The helicopter sound did not fade, but remained, even getting closer. A scowl crossed the Imam’s face.
Those infidels would get an angry message the next time I send the courier.
He had positioned his wife just so, and was thrusting his way to happiness, when he heard a staccato of shots. Quickly, he jumped off of her, and threw on a tunic to see what was happening.
Pounding footsteps! More shots, cries of surprise. What was this? Some disgruntled faction? He had everyone paid or threatened. Who could it be attacking? His wife hugged him from behind, murmuring questioningly.
His reflections were interrupted when some men in dark clothing burst into his room. All he could do was back away towards the bed and stare.
“Who are you? Why do you dare this? Why…”
One of the men said, “If you want to live, you come with us.”
The Imam turned to the bed and grabbed a knife sitting on the bedstand. Then, he warned the man,
“I am a trained muhajadeen. I will not hesitate to kill you if you do not leave this room!”
The men looked at each other, several strong. A few raised automatic weapons and pointed them at him.
“That knife won’t do you any good here…”
He rushed at the nearest man, knife upraised, hoping to get one of them at least.
The intruders did not hesitate to fire, hitting the Imam in the face and chest.
As the light faded from his eyes, and he felt himself sinkng, sinkng ever downward, the Imam realized the cruel twist that Allah had played:
“Smite down the great Satan and their followers….”
“Remove the source of evil…”
“Bless my family as you see fit…”
The Imam realized that Allah, in his infinite wisdom, had answered his earlier prayer.
The End
