*disclaimer* The following post in no way intends to be a true prediction or description of the Jerry Springer show or any of it's principals, owners, assignees, etc, etc. it is only presented as a humorous observation of our society today and in the future. *end of disclaimer*
Jerry Springer 2008
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A juggler hovers on side of the stage,
Spinning plates, balancing on a ball, and juggling pins.
A midget with no legs walks around the stage on the palms of his hands.
Sometimes smiling, sometimes grim, he leans on a guest;
Tugs at their pant leg, smiling - audience laughs.
Guests recount relationship problems;
Other guests are brought on, and the fighting begins.
Girls and girls, guys and guys, girls and guys -
Wildly swinging, flailing away, ripping off clothing.
Sound effects include a 'dinging' like at boxing matches;
Pulling hair, calling names, punching at each other.
Audience shouts instructions, like "pull up your shirt!"
Girls (and guys) pull up their shirts, showing breasts.
Sometimes, a guy shows off his thong - and then flashes the audience.
Showing everything. Raunchy - but at the end, all are smiling, and no blood is drawn.
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Jerry Springer 2012
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A knife-thrower plys their trade just offstage.
Guests come at each other, screaming, punching, pulling hair.
Hard contact can be heard as punches land home.
Security makes little effort to separate them.
At end of each segment, one or both of the guests is bloodied.
Security wears headguards.
Guests show everything, taking off clothing at a whim,
Egging audience on as audience hoots, in some cases stripping too.
Some fight naked, and get cuts and bruises.
Fights break out in the audience.
There is occasional urinating or defecating on stage.
Animals are brought out on occasion.
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Jerry Springer 2020
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There is a medic on scene.
Jerry is showing his age, has an apprentice helping him.
Guests begin tamely enough, then produce weapons and attack each other.
Knives, clubs, sticks, whatever. But no guns.
Soon they are beating the tar out of each other, and smacking security on occasion.
Blood is everywhere. At the end of a segment, more often than not, someone is Carried off stage. More aggresive animals, like pit bulls, are held offstage, Sometimes allowed to bite the fighters. Fights break out in the audience also.
Tallies of broken bones and injuries are shown on the show.
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Jerry Springer 2025 - end
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Jerry allows small guns and machetes; then, shortly is shot in a "freak accident."
Body count is tallied at end of each show.
Guests have gunfights in an enlarged stage.
Sometimes the audience is shot, or fires back, or fires on each other.
Blood is everywhere, carnage rampant.
The show runs one more year, then is cancelled.
They could not get any more "guests", or audience members, to visit the show.
Trailer parks nationwide saw a significant decrease in population.
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-2025 or thereabouts
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Soon, "Springer parties" began occuring before and after sporting events.
Groups in the crowd would produce knives, clubs, machetes, small weapons of every description. They would riot and maul each other until exhausted, or beated senseless, injured too severely, or in some rare cases, separated by a well-armed and armored security force. Welcome to the new Rome. Killing the new national pastime, Springermania took over the United States. And the rest, as the say, is history...
*big grin here*
